NICE TO MEET YOU

Hi, welcome to Living My Gift.

I’m Ling, currently living in the UK with my husband. I’m originally from Malaysia, a beautiful country where it feels like summer all year round.

I love exploring new things, travelling, and cooking nice food. But I also enjoy the quieter side of life, like snuggling up at home on wet and gloomy days, which happens quite often thanks to the British weather.

I am not a morning person. I really admire people who wake up at 5 a.m. and are productive before the rest of the world is even awake. The only time you’ll find me up that early is when I have jet lag.

I am also very impatient. I like getting things done quickly because it gives me peace of mind. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work very well with my condition when stiffness limits my mobility. These days, I’m learning to slow down, be patient, and listen to my body instead of constantly trying to push through.

On my days off, I enjoy making a nice brunch, reading, spending time with family, or simply scrolling on my phone. I’m trying to cut down on the scrolling, and starting this blog is one of the ways I’m doing that. I also try to stay as active as possible through yoga and the gym, although I’m still figuring out which exercises work best for my body without causing flare-ups or discomfort.

I also love grocery shopping. There’s something satisfying about opening a full fridge stocked with foods I enjoy. I love food, and while I try to eat as healthily as possible, I still believe food should nourish both the body and the mind. Sometimes that nourishment comes in the form of vegetables, and sometimes it’s ice cream.

My Journey

I was always very active when I was younger, but that changed when I started working. Before my first major flare-up in September 2023, I would get occasional back pain that usually improved on its own. Looking back, I had also become quite sedentary.

That flare-up changed my life.

Since then, the pain has never really gone away. I started with mild painkillers, then moved on to stronger anti-inflammatory medication, which eventually stopped working. Along the way, I took a seven-month career break, went travelling, got married (why not?), and gave myself a chance to reset.

One thing I learned during that time was how important movement is. Staying active helps me tremendously. At the same time, it has been difficult accepting that I can no longer sleep in any position I want, run for a bus, or sit on a train or plane without worrying that the pain will get worse.

In 2024, I was diagnosed with non-radiographic axial spondyloarthritis (nr-axSpA), a chronic inflammatory condition that affects the spine and joints. It’s closely related to ankylosing spondylitis, and many of the symptoms and challenges overlap.

My diagnosis has taught me to appreciate the days when I feel well. It has also taught me to listen to my body and stop when I need to. It slows me down and reminds me that it’s not always possible to do everything, and that’s okay.

After my career break, I took a pay cut and moved into a remote role that is much more manageable. I make sure to take regular breaks and stretch throughout the day to keep my spine happy. I am incredibly grateful to be able to work, use the skills and knowledge I’ve built over the years, and do something that gives my days purpose.

Like many people with a chronic condition, I’ve gone through periods of fear and uncertainty. I worried about living with pain for the rest of my life, taking medication forever, and having to rely on other people for everyday tasks. That last one was probably my biggest fear.

Over time, I started seeing my diagnosis as a gift. Not because I enjoy having it, because I definitely don’t, but because of what it has taught me. It has helped me slow down, appreciate the people around me, and make peace with things I can’t control.

I’ve also learned that it’s okay to tell people when I’m struggling. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to ask for help.

Although I’m not living the life I imagined before my diagnosis, I’m grateful for the life I have now.

Sometimes I still feel like I’m missing out because of my condition. But would my life be better without it? Maybe. Maybe not. I honestly don’t know.

Why I Started This Blog

One thing I do know is that my diagnosis has pushed me to do things I never thought I would do, like writing and sharing my life online.

I’ve never been good at writing, but here I am.

Writing gives me a space to express feelings that are often difficult to explain. It helps me process my experiences and reminds me that I can still do things that scare me.

Through this blog, I hope to connect with people who resonate with my experiences. I want to share things that have helped me navigate life with chronic pain, along with the things that bring me joy. Maybe some of them will help you too.

You’ll find posts about living with non-radiographic axial spondyloarthritis, chronic back pain, my travels (which are a little slower these days), simple recipes that nourish both body and mind, brush lettering, which I’ve neglected for far too long and hope to return to someday, and other random things that make me happy.

If you’re navigating life with chronic illness, chronic back pain, ankylosing spondylitis, axial spondyloarthritis, or simply learning how to move through life more gently, I hope you find comfort here.

This blog is simply my way of sharing what life looks like day by day.

I’m not sure what the future holds, but whatever comes next, I’ll do my best to live a life that’s worth living, appreciate the good days, get through the difficult ones, and leave as few regrets as possible.

You’re not alone.

Lots of love,

Ling