Returning to Brush Lettering After Two Years With Chronic Pain

For almost two years, I didn’t pick up a brush pen.

It sounds like a small thing. It was only a hobby, after all.

But when chronic back pain becomes part of your everyday life, you don’t always notice what you’ve stopped doing. Sometimes you stop doing something because it hurts. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy for it, and sometimes, without really noticing, it simply disappears from your routine.

For me, that hobby was brush lettering.

I didn’t decide to give it up. I didn’t suddenly stop enjoying it. My back pain became harder to manage, and little by little, brush lettering became less important.

Then, almost two years later, I picked up my brush pen again.

I realised I had missed it more than I thought.

How I First Fell in Love with Brush Lettering

I discovered brush lettering on social media in 2022.

I was fascinated by how individual brush strokes could come together to form a letter, and then an entire word. I found the videos calming and strangely satisfying to watch, and eventually I wanted to try it myself.

My parents used to send me to art classes when I was little, and I always enjoyed them. I’m not the most creative or artistic person, but drawing and making things have always made me happy.

Since graduating from high school, though, art and I had barely crossed paths.

Then brush lettering came along and brought that little artistic side of me back.

I still remember driving to a grocery store to pick up my first set of brush pens and a notepad from a craft store. I was so excited that all I wanted to do was rush home and start practising.

Once I started, I got completely absorbed in it.

I could spend hours practising letters and words without realising how much time had passed.

As I got better on paper, I eventually started experimenting with brush lettering on my iPad too. I liked being able to undo mistakes, try different ideas and keep everything together without using lots of paper.

I made Christmas cards and even a thank-you card for my manager. Her reaction and feedback encouraged me to continue.

At the time, I thought I had found a hobby I would probably keep for years.

I didn’t know I was going to stop doing it so completely.

When Back Pain Slowly Took It Away

After about a year of getting into brush lettering, my back pain returned.

I didn’t stop immediately.

I tried to adapt. I spent less time doing it each day and paid more attention to my posture while sitting.

But eventually, even sitting for a short period could be uncomfortable.

My back hurt so much that everyday things started taking more effort. Work became harder, and I had less energy for things outside work. Even hobbies that I used to look forward to started to feel like something I needed to think twice about.

So I did less and less brush lettering.

Then I stopped.

There wasn’t one particular day when I decided, “I’m not doing this anymore.”

It just disappeared from my routine.

That was around the same period when recurring back pain was affecting many other parts of my everyday life. I wrote more about that in Living With Recurring Pain: How It Changed My Everyday Life.

At the time, I didn’t really think about what I was losing.

I was too busy trying to get through the things I needed to do.

Two Years Later, I Realised I Still Missed It

After being diagnosed with axial spondyloarthritis, I occasionally came across some of my old brush lettering.

Sometimes I would look at something I had made and remember how much I enjoyed doing it.

I knew I still missed it, but I didn’t immediately pick it up again. Part of me had started to associate brush lettering with the period when my back pain was getting worse. Even though I knew the hobby itself wasn’t the cause of my pain, it had been such a big part of my life during that difficult time that I think I subconsciously kept my distance from it.

By then, a lot had changed in my life. 

I left my full-time job, took a break, returned to a new job, and eventually reduced my working hours. Changing the way I work has been an important part of learning how to live with axial spondyloarthritis, which I’ve written about in Working with Axial Spondyloarthritis: Prioritising My Health.

With a little more time on my hands, I started thinking about the things I had stopped doing.

Not because I felt like I should be doing them again, but because I finally had the time and headspace to think about what I actually missed.

Brush lettering was one of them.

I knew my skills might have become rusty. I might not be able to sit for as long as I used to.

But honestly, I didn’t care that much.

I just wanted to try again.

Finding a Way to Start Brush Lettering Again

After almost two years, I finally picked up my brush pen again.

It felt familiar, but I was also aware that things were different now.

I know my body better than I did before. I know that if I spend three or four hours sitting in one position because I’m enjoying myself, I’ll probably regret it later.

So I’m taking it slowly.

I take regular breaks. I change position. And if my back isn’t having a good day, I might do less or leave it for another day.

I’m still figuring out what works for me.

This time, I’m not trying to do things exactly the way I used to.

I want to enjoy brush lettering again.

So far, that’s been enough.

Making Space for Hobbies Again

When I was working full-time, I sometimes wondered what I would actually do if I ever had more spare time.

The funny thing was, I never really had an answer.

Now that I’ve reduced my working hours, I finally have some time to think about it.

I don’t want all my extra time to disappear into chores.

I also don’t want my life to revolve around work or managing my health.

I want to do things because I enjoy them.

I want to wake that creative side of me up again, the one that had probably been asleep for a long time.

Brush lettering may be the beginning.

I’ve also started sharing some of my brush lettering on my YouTube channel, Living My Gift. I started the channel some time ago but ended up abandoning it after only a few videos. Now I’m slowly coming back to it too.

I’m not sure where it will take me yet, but for now, I’m enjoying having a little space to create and share something I love.

I’d like to discover other hobbies too, but I don’t want to make a huge list and turn them into goals.

I’d rather try things when I feel like trying them and see what sticks.

Learning to Enjoy Brush Lettering Without Needing to Be Good

I used to think that once I started doing something, I needed to become good at it.

When I first got into brush lettering, I spent a lot of my free time practising because I wanted to improve.

I enjoyed it, but I was also thinking about whether I was getting better.

Was my lettering good enough?

Could I make something that looked impressive?

After taking such a long break, I see it differently.

I don’t need to be very good at my hobby.

I don’t need to practise every day.

I don’t need to buy lots of supplies.

If I improve, great.

If I don’t, that’s fine too.

I’m learning that not everything needs to lead somewhere.

Sometimes I can just do something because I enjoy it.

That probably sounds obvious, but I’m still learning it.

Starting Again as the Person I Am Today

I’m not trying to become the person I was two years ago.

I’m just trying to make room for something I loved in the life I have now.

I know my body better. I’m more aware of when I need to stop, and I’m less willing to push through just because I want to finish something.

Maybe I won’t spend hours brush lettering like I used to. Maybe I’ll improve slowly. Maybe I’ll eventually lose interest again and discover something completely different.

That’s okay.

For now, I’m just happy I picked up my brush pen again.

Living with chronic pain has changed some of the things I can do. But I don’t want that to mean giving up everything I enjoy.

Sometimes I may need to do things differently. Sometimes I may need to do less, and sometimes, I may need to start again.

For now, I’m just happy I found my way back to something I enjoy.

Lots of love, 

Ling